The Worst Article Ever Written

I love a rant and even more so when completely ridiculous and infuriating idiots decide to use their 'journalism career' (or clearly, lack of) to broadcast hate about people who don't deserve it. I am going to take a wild shot in the woods here and assume a woman wrote this totally shit hollywoodscoop.com article on the worst celebrity beach bodies. A woman who no doubt is incredibly insecure and doesn't look half as good or even tries to look as good as some of the celebrities she is slagging off. The fact that she doesn't even reveal her name pretty much proves that fact - if you aren't proud enough to put your name on it then maybe something is wrong there.

If the likes of Kourtney K, one of the famous beholders of the Kardashian curves, have some of the 'worst beach bodies' then what are the rest of us? Walruses?

Maga 2K13

It's not just the curvy ladies like Coco-T (apparently her "butt ate her bathing suit" - obvs the author hasn't heard of twerking and the equipment needed) who were getting the typically Hollywood 'if you're not a Size 2, you're eating too much' treatment. Lindsay Lohan, the media's favourite chew toy, was scrutinised as looking pregnant in 2010 (and like a skeleton not long later, in the global media) and Tara Reid had that flatter than a pancake stomach mocked, twice. REALLY?

Yep, if those two photos above (of Vida Guerra and Tara Reid, respectively) repulse you then I suggest you head on over to the hollywoodscoop.com recruitment office and sign yourself up so you too can write pathetic, jealousy riddled articles.

In the words of Bridget Jones, I'd rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein's arse - maybe I need to update my quotes? - than working within an inch of whoever the hell wrote this utter shit (I would try and word post more eloquently but there is really no point in sugarcoating it).

Any thoughts?

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Film review of the week.. We're The Millers

I have been a massive Jennifer Aniston fan ever since I watched all 10 seasons of Friends in one summer (no regrets). So, when I saw she finally had a new comedy coming out I needed to see it and despite having no money for the cinema, see it I did and it was worth every second of law frowned upon streaming.

It is everything the trailer promised it would be and more. The start was a bit slow but it quickly became great - Jen An's stripper character turned mum is spot on, you begin to forget that they are actually a fake family, helped massively from another fave actress, Emma Roberts as the stroppy runaway. David and Rose/Sarah (Subeikis and Aniston) go well together and the slight reference throughout to their previous friendship makes their *SPOILER* relationship a cliche but not in a predictable way - pretty refreshing.

Although Poulter is funny, he is not particularly a center point in the film but nonetheless ties up the 'family' well and carries out the highlight from the trailer (his rapping) without disappointment. Even the additional characters, the other family, are a brilliant attribute and somehow them being the joke doesn't become overdone despite their presence throughout the film.

All in all, I would definitely book your Orange Wednesday tickets for this flick next week - worth every penny!

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What's in my.. Festival Bag

Knowing what to take to a festival is difficult. You want the comfort of inflatable beds, camping chairs, those tiny cookers and maybe even a portable toilet (I've seen them but surely keeping your own toilet is grimier than using the portaloos? Where do you put it? What do you do with it after?!) but the hours of queuing to get in and the trek to your campsite could quite possibly cripple you.

You then have the question of how to get in your over the allowance alcohol - if you're lucky, some festival don't make a big deal of it and maybe won't even check - and things like that . Food and drink get expensive when a burger is £5.50 and you need to buy one or two a day to keep you going for the weekend, especially when hangover comfort cravings kick in.

So I thought I would show you what I took to Creamfields last weekend and add what I would and wouldn't have bothered with to maybe help you out for next summer's festival season!

Toiletries

 Toothpaste + Toothbrush, and a bottle of water so you can brush your teeth without trekking anywhere / 4 hour instant tan (it is VERY effective, gives you a typical fake tan in if anything less than 4 hours) / Dry shampoo / Deodorant / Razor with built-in gel so all you need is water, no shaving foam or shower / Make up wipes (good shower replacement!) / Perfume / Paracetamol / Nail varnish to top up your inevitably chipped nails

 Essentials

ID to get in and for buying drinks (lost my provisional in Manchester, had to bring my whole Passport, sob) / TICKET! / Reliable, old phone with never ending battery and all your numbers in it / Camera (digital or disposable - keep them safe!) / Torch for late night trips to the loo / Toilet paper (this doesn't even go under festival toiletries but ESSENTIALS because prepare for things to get grim) / Hand sanitizer, same as before, now an essential to replace soap and water in the toilet / Money (I took 60 pounds for the weekend, inc. alcohol)

Clothes

Topshop Denim Crop Top / H&M Brasilia Crop Top / White Lace Effect Topshop Crop Top / Primark Chiffon Floral Top / MOTO Topshop High Waisted Shorts / ASOS Skorts / Zip Bag / Topshop Sunglasses

Then obviously wellies, long socks and parkas or hoodies - I took my hoody everywhere even in the sun because walking back at night when you're worse for wear you need some comfort.

Food and Drink

And (obviously I can't take photos, since I ate/drank it all!) in the morning my parents gave me some nibbles including Malteasers, crisps (get lots, you will not regret it), Custard Creams and a Galaxy bar. Then we went to get a sandwich and two pots of ready made pasta plus our alcohol - 1l of Smirnoff, a big bottle of Frosty Jacks, a bottle of wine and mixers. Everything got put into plastic bottles because glass is something they are really strict on and it just fits better!

So that is pretty much what got us through the weekend and then we just bought a burger, our friends got us a couple of portions of chips and a hot chocolate for when we were especially rough. Hope this helps you if you're looking for ideas next year or maybe even for some smaller fests! 

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End of summer thoughts

Since all of my major plans for summer are over (Kavos, Marbella, Edinburgh, Creamfields) I just realised that it is already the end of August! That means that I have been on my summer holidays for over 12 whole weeks - no idea how it has gone so, so, so quick. This time last year I had only just moved to England and hadn't even started at the University of Manchester yet or met any of the amazing people I know now. Since the summer and  actually the entire year has gone so fast I wanted to make sure I get some things done this year to improve my life/self and all of that. Hopefully this year will be even more fun and have a lot less drama - excited for second year!

- Get a 2.1 this year, in both semesters and overall since it counts now

- Move on from old, complicated relationships and start fresh and put effort in to making others work

- Be healthy with food, drink and exercise

- Get a job

- Save money for rent, laptop and to get out of my phone contract

- Don't get lazy with anything (my hair and nails, tidiness, deadlines, writing)

I am going to get started on these as soon as possible since I move back to Manchester officially in two and a bit weeks and want it to be a proper new start and basically just make this year as good as possible.

If any of you have your own resolutions you're working on, let me know!

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Hendrick's Carnival of Knowledge, Edinburgh

As part of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival (August 2nd - August 25th) Hendrick's brought up their much loved (I wonder why) travelling Gin Parlour to the city. The set up their very kooky shop in a £1 million townhouse fully furnished with old fashioned lamps, antique mirrors that took up half the wall and even one or two stuffed rodents to keep up the Victorian feel - it is fair to say Hendrick's don't do anything by halves. Unfortunately my poor, little iPhone wasn't quite up for taking non-blurry photos today so I couldn't quite get the fantastic decorations in but if you look around I'm sure you will find loads!

"I'll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody." - Ceasefire, 1973

With tonic, without tonic, slice of lemon, slice of lime - I do not care as long as there is gin involved. The Quintessential Anthology of Gin event that we had tickets for was an hour long drinking and talking session upstairs and, before realising the free cocktail was given to you straight away, we bought some gin + tonics (obvious choice, topped with cucumber and all to bring out the lovely Hendrick's flavour) too, not complaining though - two drinks at once seemed like a perfectly reasonable way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

It was actually a really interesting talk, too! Duncan McRae told us about the Gin Epidemic that I also learnt about in my Human Geography module last year (apparently gin used to be so cheap that people were just always too drunk!) and about why different company's gins taste different and gave us a taste of straight Hendrick's gin (yummy) and endangered (thinking of setting up a Save the Gin campaign? Urgent matter, in my opinion) juniper berries that gin is made from which pretty much tasted like gin and dirt combined.

 

They handed out some of these great, fake, old newspapers too which included everything from 'Unusual Horoscopes' to pretend marriage announcements!

The Carnival of Knowledge runs for a few days of the festival but can also be found around the UK in places like Brighton and next up in October, London. I would definitely recommend a trip to whichever event you can get too soonest, even if it is just to admire the decadent displays and taste magnificent cocktails out of teacups!

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Film review of the week.. The Heat

note: when i say i am doing a film review, i don't mean i am going to compliment the great cinematic effects (whatever those are) of old or classic movies with fancy directors and big name actors (or any obscure 'misunderstood' ones). it will just be me going on about how fab (or shit) the latest flick i've seen was, probably rated highly when it contains hot men and cute animals.

The Heat, starring Melissa McCarthy and Sandra Bullock, is, in short, a film about FBI agent Ashburn (Bullock) and local cop Mullins (McCarthy) trying to bust a big time, nasty drug dealer whose circle involves Mullin's brother. They hate eachother, tolerate eachother and end up best friends - predictable yet made to seem new through a mixture of both actresses comedy and a refreshing absence of romance.

The bar scene was absolutely brilliant, there was slow dancing, regretful decisions and waking up with no idea what has happened - everything needed to have your own good night, let alone watch played out by two of today's funniest women in Hollywood. Similarly (yet totally different, since I presume most of us haven't grinded on a murderous drug dealer as part of a government operation..) the club scene is a great example of the duo's talent.

As for the film itself, the aforementioned lack of romance makes it an easy watch without the usual heartbroken leading lady whining on for an hour and a half before finding the love of her life. It also has a twist that you manage to both see coming and are completely shocked by when it occurs. The Bridesmaids director's latest hit didn't fail to live up to the last film McCarthy starred in, perhaps even better with it's more mature and blunt humour.

All in all, no complaints can be found from my point of view! McCarthy has done nothing but get better since the end of Gilmore Girls and Bullock continues to provide excellent entertainment coupled with the same non-annoying comic value we saw in Miss Congeniality.

Four stars. Definitely go and grab a cinema ticket for it soon.

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The time I went to.. Kavos

After one of our exams, me and some of my friends went to a travel agents to cheer ourselves up by looking at nice, relaxing holidays in the sun and, less than an hour later, left with a week booked in Kavos, Corfu for three weeks time. Now, if you haven't had the pleasure of watching What Happens In Kavos you might think that Corfu sounds exactly like a nice, relaxing holiday but you're very, very wrong. Kavos is infamous for its booze cruises, STIs and 'anything goes' attitude. Luckily, we went at the very beginning of season meaning there were enough great people around to meet and spend the holiday with but it wasn't anywhere near as vile as it's made out to be on TV.

*Info about the holiday (hotel, booking etc) at the bottom.

They say 'Kavos fucks Ibiza' but it most definitely fucks you and it is completely worth it, it was one of the funniest weeks I have ever had. We booze cruised, went to a Full Moon party, sunbathed on the Greek beach, had Greek food and turned into complete messes. I loved every minute of it so I thought I'd share some photos (censored massively because what happens in Kavos, STAYS in Kavos) with you all to prove it's not only fun but also surprisingly pretty!

I can say will complete confidence that any photos brought home with you from Kavos will be horrifying but by that point you will have so little dignity left you just won't care (as seen through the classiness of that last photo).

SOME INFO: We paid £199 for seven night (hotel, flights and transfers inc.) through Thomas Cook and stayed at the self-catered Oula Maisonettes, a 5-10 minute walk to the Strip (perfect for some last minute pre-drinking!) which has a pool area (pictured) and a bar/restaurant open 24h a day which also served at lovely €2 English breakfast to help with the hangovers! Olympic holidays ran everything we did as they worked at the hotel so we bought our Full Moon party and booze cruise tickets for €60 meaning spending all together came to approx. €200. If you are willing to spend more there's a lot of activities going on around the resorts, especially waters sports, to get involved in. Definitely recommend it!


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All these wonderful and amazing things about me

It is that time of the middle of the night again where I make yet another blog and promise to stick to it. This time I mean it though since I am in the middle of a three and a half month summer so I have had to stop being a top geographer at the University of Manchester and start being a stereotypical haven't-got-off-the-sofa-since-breakfast-and-it's-now-dinner student.

I will probably be posting about life things, ranting, travel, guys (or lack of, sob), reviews and maybe just some updates + photos every now and then. For now, I will just leave a little introduction here because otherwise you are reading about a complete and utter stranger's life and that's where the internet starts getting creepy.

I'm Lucy and I am nineteen years old. I moved to Manchester in September 2012 from Marbella, Spain where I lived since I was four. I have always loved to travel and write which lead to me wanting to become a journalist and also study human geography. I write for several student based sites and plan to post links on here as soon as everything is sorted out. I have a dog, I drink lots of wine, I hoard magazines and am single (by choice, because when Ryan G. realises I exist I don't want to waste that opportunity by being out with some other lad). Here is me on the far left being obscenely pale despite the 35 degree Greek weather, thank you Yorkshire skin.

Feel free to ask questions, chat and suggest things along the way!

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